And the Lazarus Award for Best Comeback goes to …

THE LAZARUS AWARD FOR BEST COMEBACK

AS Justice Secretary, Kenny MacAskill was responsible for setting up the disaster-prone single police force.

THE WHISKAS AWARD FOR MOST SHAMELESS FAT CAT

THIS year’s winner is from the halls of academe – but Professor Andrew Atherton is no ordinary scholar.

THE CAROL VORDERMAN AWARD FOR CREATIVE ARITHMETIC

A NEW award for the 2019 Granties, the Vorderman honours those with a flair for numbers.

THE GEORGE A ROMERO ‘ZOMBIE MINISTER’ AWARD

ONE of our most coveted gongs, the Romero goes to the minister with the shortest projected shelf-life.

THE GEORGE ORWELL AWARD FOR MOST BRAZEN PROPAGANDA

AS master practitioners of the dark arts of spin, many Nationalist politicians were eligible for the Orwell.

THE TRUMP AWARD FOR SOCIAL MEDIA PROFICIENCY

THE art of negotiating the pitfalls of social media requires political nous – but that hasn’t deterred one SNP councillor.

THE HILLARY CLINTON AWARD FOR TRANSPARENT POLITICS

SHE had pledged in November 2014 that her Government would be ‘open, listening, accessible and decentralising’.

THE IMELDA MARCOS AWARD FOR SERVICES TO FOOTWEAR

IT was a row laced with all the ingredients of a classic town hall political scandal.

THE DARIEN AWARD FOR ECONOMIC LITERACY

FINANCE Secretary Derek Mackay scoops the Darien – which commemorates the unsuccessful attempt by the Kingdom of Scotland to become a world trading state in the 1690s.

THE ACORN ANTIQUES AWARD FOR BEST TELEVISION CHANNEL

NAMED in honour of the Victoria Wood sketches parodying naff soap operas with sets with more rickety than the plots, this accolade could have only one recipient: step forward, BBC Scotland.

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Graham Grant.

Graham Grant.

Home Affairs Editor, columnist, leader writer, Scottish Daily Mail. Twitter: @GrahamGGrant Facebook: @sdmnewspaper